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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Me!'s LiveJournal:

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Friday, April 27th, 2012
1:19 am
Yes, I'm alive.
Yes, I'm stronger than I thought.
No, I'm not 100% better.
No, I don't feel like I can conquer anything.
Yes, I know that I don't give myself enough credit.

Been throug a lot since December. I lived with a tooth absess for 4 months for fear of treatment + no dental insurance. On March 14,th when I got so dizzy I almost passed out and thought it was the worst panic attack of my life (and it was) and had to go get a 2mg shot in my ASS to calm down just to realize I let the tooth infection get almost to my brain that was a wakeup call. So, I sucked it up and finally got enough to have oral surgery. Since the doctor would take out 4 for the price of 2 I got them cut out. I feel bad. It made me sad. But, I am going to get implants and they are back molars. I am healing now and it's a long road since I let it go so long. I feel weak for doing it but oh well -- I am stronger.

I'm tired of not living life for me but scared to try it alone -- I know I'm a wuss.
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
9:27 am
... and who got me sick?
I've managed to stay away from my least favorite illness for almost a year (THE CROUP) aka sinus infection/cold COUGHING up lungs. This was UNTIL Rick got sick and now I'm sick and worse of course. Bad bad Rick.

Of course, I've WAY cut back on smoking and plan to continue to do so.

Drinking lots of fluids, doing the Mucinex, OJ, and started a Zpak (thanks Doc for calling that in). I also have some codeine cough syrup and hope to be back feeling better in a few days.

*Insert whine here*

I hate being sick :/
Tuesday, September 21st, 2010
7:54 am
Writer's Block: Me 10 Years Ago
How would your best friend have described you ten years ago? What about today?

Me.. just finished the first year of grad school Still drinking and being WILD as hell. Having the best time of my life... being free.. wow I miss it.
Wednesday, June 30th, 2010
12:35 pm
Waiting and Waiting.....
Still waiting to see if COBRA subsidy will extend or even pick up my 65% of the 500 dollar a month premium insurance wants me to pay. I am praying because insurance runs out TODAY!
Thursday, April 8th, 2010
9:47 pm
Too Tired
Too tired to write much. Been going to the hospital every morning.

Stomach is not liking the stress. IBS has been going nuts.

Mammaw is still hanging out and will grab hands, cry, and try to talk around the tubes in her mouth or .. bite them.

Seeing her makes me cry.

Not seeing her makes me cry more.

Current Mood: exhausted
Sunday, April 4th, 2010
10:13 pm
Most of you know I posted that my grandmother was ill.

Well, on the way back from the doctor at the pharmacy she passed out and had a major heart attack. She was life flighted to a hospital in Virginia.

This woman raised me. This woman held me when I cried (which wasn't long ago). I am broken, torn, and emotionally and physically drained.

This was Wed. night. I've been at the hospital each day.

We are seeing TINY TINY improvements and I can only thank God for those and keep praying.

I ask that anyone here pray or send good thoughts her way. She's my heart.......


Current Mood: crushed
Wednesday, March 31st, 2010
6:37 pm
One day I'll post a new pic when I don't feel like crapola!
Saturday, February 13th, 2010
9:47 pm
Wish I had more...
Wish I had a more uplifting post.

We've been getting lots of snow which is odd for this area.

Have the stomach flu.


Hate tummy issues. Bleh.
Monday, February 8th, 2010
4:56 am
Day # 3 of migraine from hell! New glasses are uber cute and I can SEE again but they are ripping my eyes out of my head.

Finally got to cuddle the new furballs today.

We got snow again! Twice in a winter. It's amazing. Though, we got ice on top so I have another skating rink to fall on and I got my Mustang stuck in the yard ---- again. Thank you Triple A! They pulled me out and looked grumpily at me like "Why the hell did you park there?!" I guess 7am isn't fun for them.

Should be in bed. Woke for Vicodin dose for migraine. But, stayed up a bit to do some cleaning since I wasn't quite "dying" anymore. Then, I couldn't sleep.

Miss ya'll!
Thursday, February 5th, 2009
9:32 pm
Ok, so not really sad.. but..

Rick's brother just called. His wife is pregnant. She is 34. I am 32. I have tried to no avail. I haven't posted about it since it has not worked. Dunno who is faulty nor do we have the money to go for more detailed tests. According to my last checkup I was ovulating, so I am assuming it is Rick and the radiation that he had.

When Rick told me I just started crying. I feel like a failure as a woman or something. I don't know. It's really difficult to explain the overwhelming feeling of emptiness when he told me. My dad told me the other night "something must be wrong with me". I cried then too.

Mom is still home and taking it easy. I go over there and spend a good amount of time each day doing chores, helping with dinner, etc.

We'll know more after her appt. next MOnday.

Sorry, had to vent.

Current Mood: confused
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
11:04 pm
For those who might wonder I am still alive.

I have however been very ill. Looking for a new Rheumatologist that will take me without insurance or up front total pay. Mine left. The new one wants 750.00 ot run mroe tests. It's not going to happen.

No cable.

Or well not until we are able to pay the bill again. Sorry, that means VERY little online time taht I steal from next door when i go to tutor the little girl there or visit her mom. (Visiting mom now)

Not typing well. Very cold.

Miss you all.

Oh yeah very ill is not deathly life threatening. I just got very low on iron again, got dizzy, fell down, and strained my pectoral muscle and got some bumps and bruises. Along with the tummy stuff life has sucked. BUT! I am holding my head up. 2009 is going to be good. I just know it. Cause... I will be *gasp* 33.

Anyways, hope to be online soon for good. Paying cable bill on the 1st when we get our work checks.


Current Mood: cold
Friday, January 9th, 2009
6:40 pm
Happy Days
I have heat.

I am warm.

I have a job (for the moment).

Our manager is AWESOME!!!!! He is going around to different stores and collecting applications, talking to managers, and trying to find us all jobs before the store closes. NO other manager I've EVER had would do something so cool. He even let us sit and chat and vent the other night while being paid. I will surely miss that work environment even though retail is hell. Having people you work with that you like, are comfortable with, and make a great team is very rare.

Back on Sparkpeople randomly, when I have a moment to do things. I am trying to get all the hours I can in the next three weeks before the store closes so we will have a "slight" cushion of money in savings in case something else blows up. Missing everyone a lot. MUAH!

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
7:34 am
Yes, oh how I adore you! I need to SLEEP!
Tuesday, December 25th, 2007
2:25 am
... MERRY XMAS ...
Thursday, December 20th, 2007
5:22 am
From K and SB and others, yup
1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car): Sweetiepie Mustang

2. Your gangsta name (fave ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe): Cookie-Dough Clog

3. Your Native American name (favorite color, favorite animal): Malachite Kitten

4. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born): Daniella Elizabeth

5. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Pyl Ja

6. Superhero name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Carmine Sweet-Tea

7. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers): ....
Roberto James

8. Stripper name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Rapture Roche'

10. TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter):

Bell Bismark

11. Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower):
Fall Orchid

12. Cartoon name: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Pomegranite Panties (really this is more of a stripper name)

13. Hippie name (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Krispy Cherry

Current Mood: creative
Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
12:58 am
Dearest Tummy,
Dearest Tummy,

PLZ be better soon. I hate when you get upset.

Belly hurts. No food. *Cries*

I promise I'll try not to stress. REALLY!
Saturday, November 24th, 2007
9:29 pm

NerdTests.com says I&apos;m a Nerd Queen.  What are you?  Click here!

Current Mood: cold
Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007
2:53 am
Name me!

My wolf is Kamalia Rendall.
Take The Werewolf Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

I think I like it ;)
Saturday, August 18th, 2007
2:33 am
Writer's Block: Trading Spaces
If you could be another person for a day, who would it be and why?

Someone beautiful, self-confident, and single.

Yes, a lot to ask. And I don't want to hear 'you are beautiful'. I'm talking about the knockout, droolworthy type. I just want one day to see how it feels ;)

Simple, vain, etc.
Friday, July 27th, 2007
11:32 pm
Just a note
I will be back in the world soon!




More following. Feet hurt from heels. Oh the joys of retail ;)

Current Mood: excited
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